Testing a photo fix…

Those of you who consume my blog via some sort of external reader will not be affected materially.

It doesn’t look like much.  An old Christmas card cut up and folded into a crude box.  Ragged at the edges where young hands weren’t able to quite make the corners work.  Just like hundreds of other small handmade items from my kids over the years.

But this one came at a time when I needed it most.  At the end of a particularly long week of working 18-hour days.  On an evening when I was having a lot of self-doubt about my abilities and the meaning of my work.  When I was ready to throw my laptop across the room in fury at myself, my company, and the world in general.

“Daddy…” came the quiet voice, usually loud and raucous, hopped up on sugar or television or some other external stimulant.  The voice that usually was whining about one thing or another or crying because of some perceived hurt or ill.  The voice that often brought woe or worry or other tidings of less than great joy.

“Daddy…” she said.  “I made this for you.”

I took the box and gave it a shake, expecting to hear the sound of some pennies or rocks or other customary offerings.  My heart began to break as I realized how I had denied my child her deepest desire, time with her Daddy, over the last few weeks.  The box suddenly looked like something out of the fanciest catalog, the most lavish of stores, the best that money could buy.

“What’s inside?” I asked, wondering what it could be that didn’t make any noise but could be worth the obvious effort she had put into the box.

“I blew a kiss inside of it, just for you” she said.

And I wept. Tears of joy for the heart that beat inside my daughter’s chest.  Tears of shame for the way I had behaved as a father over the last few nights.  Tears of gratitude for the real gift God had given me in the form of this child.

Thank you, my darling, for the best gift I could have received from anyone this year…

I usually spend the first day of January looking over the past year.  I’m tend not to dwell on the past too much, but I do like to remember accomplishments, significant milestones, and other events that seem to have meaning to me.  Here’s a partial list from 2009 (in no particular order):

• Seeing my elder daughter make first band both semesters of her senior year (she’s now third chair in first band!!!) and get her letter jacket
• Seeing my younger daughter make the drum line in middle school and stay first chair for most of the first semester)
• Another full year of being employed by only one company (a major achievement for those who know me well…)
• Another year of singing with the choir at Community Bible Church (one of the true blessings in my life)
• Another year of working with Puresound, our church youth choir (fantastic kids with a powerful ministry)
• Business trips to Honolulu, San Diego, New York, Baltimore, and Las Vegas
• Visiting with Tim Eagerton while in San Diego (one of the few benefits of business travel is when your trip takes you to places where your friends live)
• Visiting with Bill Van Loo of chromedecay  in the Ann Arbor area (Bill is a true Renaissance man and inspires me in so many ways.  Thanks for the trip to the record store, Bill!  Looking forward to my next trip up!!)
• Seeing Star Trek reimagined and brought to the big screen again by J. J. Abrams (sure, not momentous for you perhaps but a huge event for this closet Trekkie)
• Finally seeing my friend Gabe Gibitz’s CD “Spirit of Elijah” released! (Sorry it took so long, Gabe, but the end result was worth the wait for me! This next project should be even better!!)
• Opening our new office in San Antonio (a big improvement over the old place) in June
• Finally getting furniture for the new office (in December!)
• Making new friends and renewing old friendships with so many people

There’s so much more I could say, so many more things that happened that are worth talking about.  But I’ll close this post with the following observation:

No matter how great or poor a particular year has been, I thank God for the rich life and abundant blessings that He continues to pour down on me.  I am truly a broken man but made whole through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for me, a sacrifice that I will never be worthy of nor able to repay.  It’s my wish for 2010 that I am able to share that salvation and redemption with others.

Goodbye 2009.  Hello 2010!  Nice to see you, and I’m looking forward to another full year!!

My biggest challenge is that I find myself these days spending more time in Covey’s Q3 rather than Q2.  I hate it.

My life needs a good spring cleaning.  But it’s already October.  What to do…